• Gretchen White

It's Okay Not To Be Okay

I am the type of person who always wants others to be better or to feel better. It is just the kind-hearted person I am. I do not like seeing people close to me and even strangers not be happy. I remember giving a woman a tissue and a hug when I saw her crying at the mall during the holidays. She had just finished having a horrible interactions with a sales clerk when returning an item. As I listened to her tell the story, I wanted to go into the store and give that sales clerk a good slap. How dare she make someone feel less than they should. I could never fathom treating another human being in such a manner.

"Everything does not have to be okay all the time".

I am not the only person who feels the same ways. As nurturing individuals, we have the need to consistently try and make others, even ourselves “feel better.” We are driven by compassion and empathy, but unfortunately these emotions can stop us from understanding that we need moments in our lives to be not okay and accept that this is okay. We have been taught to not to show up for our emotions unless they were valid. As in the story I related above, the woman kept saying how "stupid" she felt for crying. She was apologizing for showing hurt. We should never feel like our emotions are shameful. But that is exactly how we often feel when we cry, yell, worry, or feel out of control about things others seem to handle without incident. We have the tendency to judge ourselves harshly.

"It's okay that we are not perfect. It's okay that we all have problems. It's okay to cry, to show emotions". - Marina Abramovic

To put this in a better perspective think about any emotional moment in your life that was traumatic. If you just expressed the "traditional" emotions and not all of what you were going through, that extra unprocessed emotions will remain within you. It will not released causing you to carry it over to another emotional moment in your life. As you keep releasing only what you think is appropriate, you eventually hold onto and carry around emotions that should have been released. And now you are not "okay" and don't understand why. It's okay not to understand but it is not okay to keep denying that you are not okay.

"It's okay to not be okay all the time".

Having time to just "be" is something we all need. It is during these times that we begin to heal. Giving in to our sorrows helps us to learn about our breaking points, our limits. Being okay with not being okay is a learning process. When we take the time to visit these unexpressed emotions (and visit is all we should do), we are free to give in and just be. It is during these dark moments when we discover just how strong we truly are. So go ahead, be okay with not being okay. Just don't give up on yourself. Our strength heals us. Our understand tells us it is okay

Everyone has a beautiful face. Everyone has a story.
Are you ready to share and tell yours?


© 2019 by "I AM" the Face Of Project. 

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